Day Four, Part Three: A Message to Myself

All image credit to Jess Boland.
All image credit to Jess Boland.

Hello, me.

I’m writing this, partly to my future self, but also to myself now. I feel like I’ve done really well on my self-confidence for the way I look physically. I was never very confident with how I looked, dressed, or acted around people, but I’ve managed to convince myself (with help from my friends) that I look fabulous, that I dress fabulous, and that the fabulous people around me are accurate reflections of myself. But I can’t, no matter how hard I try, to convince myself of my acting ability. I am constantly surrounded by amazing people who are majorly talented, and that should help me to grow as an actor. I think it has, but it also makes me constantly doubt if I’m good enough. I spend far too much energy worrying if I’m the ‘dark horse’, or just that person who thinks they’re a lot better than they actually are.

Over the next year, I’m going to be going for a lot of auditions and interviews, and the overwhelming likelihood is that I’m going to be rejected. Very few people get into drama college first time, and if they do, it’s because they’re exceptional. I worry that I’m not at that stage yet. If I do continue my dream to act, I’m going to have to face a lot of rejection, so I need to learn to get better at dealing with it, and knowing that, most of the time, it’s not you, it’s someone else.

I’m writing this letter to remind myself to stay strong, to have faith, and to keep pushing to get the things I want. If you’re reading this, future me, get off your butt and do some work! You can always do something. Put on some upbeat music and be productive! I believe in you, and you have a small army of people who do too.

Love, El x

Image credit: unknown. Text credit: Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
Image credit: unknown.
Text credit: Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
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27 Comments Add yours

  1. wordscoffeeandlacedresses says:

    Stay strong, El 🙂 Brave any rejections you may receive and never, ever give up. Follow your dreams!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the lovely support. I need to learn to stay positive, but I’m trying my hardest, and in the end, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey, as they say!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I enjoyed reading this. I’m pretty much the same, in the sense that I write for myself. I wish you best of luck in acting!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you very much! (I need it) I just read ‘Poet’ on your blog, I thought it was absolutely beautiful, I almost cried because it so eloquently expressed how I feel. You have an amazing grasp of language, best of luck to you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks! I was afraid when I wrote this I would isolate a few readers because of the language, actually. It means a lot to me that I can connect to someone through my writing. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. No worries, I loved it! As you can probably see, I reblogged it 🙂

    Like

  4. I didn’t know writing to yourself was a “thing” – I love it though. Cute post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! I’ve heard people doing vlogs to their past selves, but I wanted something I could come back to in times of trouble 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. When I started writing and finally worked up the courage to send it out into the universe, a lovely friend who is a teacher sent me an article about how some of the books that we now consider classics, had been rejected hundreds of times. I’m talking books like ‘The Great Gatsby’, ‘Gone With the Wind’ and so forth. I guess my point is, sometimes you just have to stay strong and confident, knowing that someone, someday is going to love your work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, it’s strange to think that things like ‘Harry Potter’ were also rejected hundreds of times. My dad also always tells me that someone once said of Fred Astaire “can’t sing, can’t act, can dance a little”!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Fab post! Positive ending. Massive luck with the auditions. I wrote a letter to myself on one of my other blogs. I’ve shared the link in case you like to read it. I hadn’t read it for a while actually so it was nice to go back to it. I hope you have the same feeling reading this blog back in a few years as I did when I read mine today. It’s certainly put things into perspective and thanks for reminding me of mine 🙂
    https://teacupandcake.wordpress.com/2011/07/17/carpe-diem-sweetheart-carpe-diem/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No problem! That’s part of the reason I started this blog in the first place, I love reading over my old diaries too.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Kelli says:

    I love this! Just remember to cut yourself some slack, you are probably much harder on yourself than anyone else would be! mistakes are how you learn, embrace them =] I look forward to your adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! I’ll try and keep that in mind 🙂

      Like

  8. Good luck with all your acting dreams!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! It’s stressful and generally soulcrushing but it’s also the only thing I want to do with my life, so I have to keep trying to build up my confidence!

      Like

  9. You’re blessed. These words are blessed. I’ll be praying for you my fabulous friend. You WILL accomplish what you put your mind to. I look forward to reading posts that highlight your future accomplishments. Never give up. Never. That advice is overused, but rarely applied. Apply yourself to never giving up, then those dreams of yours will be your silver lining through the wealth of rejections you will receive. That hope…that hope of not giving up…will one day become your success. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words, I will keep on going!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Vibrant says:

    Hello Ellie,
    Beautiful pictures and post. You have completely revamped your blog which is good since it looks much better now. I feel this is a good post reflecting on your own self–your doubts, feelings, hopes and a bit about people around you. I hope that when you read this post after 7 years you would feel glad about it.

    I wish you very best with your auditions and blogging.

    Anand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the feedback and support! I hope to cherish this blog in years to come (of course I may end up cringing at it!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Vibrant says:

        Most of the things tell me that you won’t cringe at it 🙂 I wish you very best 🙂 Anand

        Like

  11. Bea dM says:

    Going to lots of auditions & interviews is a great way to get hands-on initial experience, meet people and start learning the ropes. If you look ahead with the cool (anything but confused!) assessment you seem to have now, you’re bound to reach your targets! By the way, very overall blog look, and nice first picture on this post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! And my picture is courtesy of my school friend Jess Boland. She does amazing artwork and she said she took inspiration for the girl in the picture from me! I thought it was a nice personal touch 🙂

      Like

      1. Bea dM says:

        yes, very nice 🙂

        Like

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